


Armin's Jokes

by AlwaysFanfiction



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bad Decisions, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Gen, Hot sauce, Pranks, Pranks and Practical Jokes, drunk, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 17:15:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14794646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysFanfiction/pseuds/AlwaysFanfiction
Summary: Sasha and Connie play a prank on Armin, but it doesn't turn out how they hoped.





	Armin's Jokes

It would be hilarious! Sasha and Connie thought as they poured the stolen liquor into a normal cup. Their plan was simple feed Armin hot sauce then hand him the cup so he would drink it all in one go, then they would get to see him tipsy! Sasha and Connie giggled as they walked into the mess hall, before silencing themselves as to not give themselves away.

It was a normal day for the Survey Corps, Armin sat with his friends at their usual table eating dinner when Sasha and Connie showed up. “Hey guys!” Sasha called out to everyone, in her hands she had rolls of some kind. “Look what we found at the market today!” She said holding up the rolls for all to see. “They were just so good, we had to buy a ton!”

“Hey Armin do you want to try one?” Sasha asked. Armin furrowed his brow in thought, Sasha never offered to share food with anyone, it was quite suspicious. Sasha shared a look with Connie and quickly turned her attention to the others around her. “You can all have one, I brought enough for everyone!” Sasha then began passing out the rolls to everyone. Armin shrugged off his thoughts, maybe she was just in a sharing mood.

“I’ll take one.” Armin said and Sasha eagerly handed Armin a roll. “These tastes just like normal rolls.” Eren commented and everyone seemed to agree, Armin however did not to think about it and took a generous sized bite out of the roll. His reaction was immediate.

Armin quickly chewed and swallowed the piece of bread only for his entire face to become red and he began shouting. “HOT!! HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!” Armin bat his hands at his gaping mouth trying to cool it down, his tongue visibly swelling. The entire hall was silent curious to see what was going, well besides Sasha and Connie who were laughing hysterically.

“What did you do?!” Eren yelled at them watching Armin crying and shouting at how hot it was. Connie pulled out a vile of a red liquid out of his pocket. “Titan Sauce, strongest hot sauce within the walls, guaranteed to make a titan cry!” Connie said between laughs. “Well how do you stop it, help him he looks like he’s dying!!” Mikasa shouted at them.

Sasha finally calmed down as well as Connie, she then nodded to Connie and he held out a cup to Armin. Armin not able to think properly at the moment grabbed the cup out of Connie’s hands before gulping the entire thing down like a dehydrated dog.

Armin leaned against the table panting, not caring how he looked in that moment in time. Suddenly Connie and Sasha burst out laughing again. “He fell for it!” “Oh this is going to be so good!” “We finally get to see it!” Levi was suddenly next to the laughing pair.

“What did you guys do?” When their laughter finally came to a stop they spoke. “Um… The hot sauce was only the beginning of the plan sir…” Levi spotted the cup that Armin had discarded after using and picked it up, he then sniffed it. “Oh hell, why on earth did you give Arlert alcohol?!” There were gasps around the room before giggling was heard. Everyone looked around the room to find the source of the giggling as it became louder and louder finally all eyes had landed on Armin.

Armin slowly sat up giggle after giggle erupted from him. “Ohhh looks like you guys are going to get in trouble with short stack.”

Silence.

“Cadet Arlert I suggest you go to the barracks now and go to bed, your drunk.” Levi said clearly trying to contain his anger. Armin just giggled more. “Oh come on, that would be no fun…” Armin swayed back and forth as he stood. “I have better idea, I’m gonna put on a comedy show!!” Armin said, he stumbled while trying to climb up onto the table.

“Arlert, you should listen to Levi and go to bed.” Erwin spoke up. Mikasa nodded, “You really should go to bed Armin, here I’ll help you there.” Eren said putting his hand on Armin’s shoulder to stop him from climbing, which Armin just shoved off. “NO! Its comedy time!” Eren backed away nervously, never seeing his friend in this state before. By the time Armin had gotten on top of the table everyone had removed their cups and bowls from the table so he wouldn’t accidently nock them off.

“Good evening everyone!” Armin giggled waving his arms out to the crowd. “For tonight’s entertainment, I will be telling all the jokes I have thought of over the years but have never shared!” Eren and Mikasa shared a look, both knowing exactly where this was going. The last time Armin had shared a joke with them was when they were still kids before the fall, it was then that they discovered Armin had a very… dark sense of humor that could be often be very offensive to others.

“Will start with a light one!” Armin giggled swaying from side to side as he stood on the table waving his arms around.

“This ones from Eren’s trial! Why does Commander Nile always look constipated?” The room remained silent as they watched the drunk boy. “Because he’s full of bull shit!!” Eren couldn’t help but laugh at that one, despite how worried he was about his friend, it was true. There were a few other chuckles from around the room.

“Hey Mikasa!” Armin called to her. “What?” She answered nervously. “Your 3DM-Gear looks loose, want me to… titan it?” There were groans from all around the room, besides Hanji who thought it was hilarious, it was a pretty bad joke, but Eren and Mikasa looked relieved. He hasn’t made any offensive jokes yet.

“Hey Armin, I think that’s enough for tonight, why don’t you save the rest for later.” Mikasa suggested. “Yaa, let’s call it a night before…” Armin’s eyes widened and his giggling returned tenfold. “Ohhh, I see you just don’t want me to tell any of those jokes.” Armin’s smile wider than it was supposed to. All around the room people had confused looks on their faces, while Eren and Mikasa just had ones of fear and worry. “Armin, please don’t!” Eren yelled. “But why would you want me to hold back my jokes, and those ones are funny!”

“No Armin, please, remember you promised long ago you wouldn’t use those jokes! They’re bad, they’re dark, and they’re supper offensive, don’t break your promise!” Mikasa yelled. Armin froze and tilted his head seeming to think about it for a minute. “Hmm… fine, I will only tell two jokes, then I will go to bed!” Armin announced happily, and it was clear he would not be persuaded any more than that.

“This one I thought of when I was almost eaten by a titan!” Armin giggled, the temperature in the room dropped. “When the titan dropped me into its mouth I was Armin, but when Eren pulled me out I was Armout!” The room was silent besides Hanji who burst out laughing banging her fist on the table. “This kids great, we should have him doing entertainment all the time!” “Alright last one, this one I thought of when I first laid eyes on a certain someone!” Mikasa and Eren became very worried, this was clearly going to be a bad one.

“What do you call a 2 meter titan?” No one answered so he carried on, “A person! Now what do you call a 1 meter titan?” No one spoke. “Levi!” No one dared laugh in fear of evoking the wrath of the tiny corporal even further. “Alright Armin time to go!” Eren said quickly pulling Armin off the table and dragging him to the door before Levi hurt him. Armin fought back as Eren dragged him. “Hey, hey, what has two legs and goes neigh? Jean!” Eren tried to get Armin out of their even faster as he kept making joke after joke.

“Why does the Commander want so badly to win?” Erwin perked up at this one. “It’s because he doesn’t want to have to change his name to Erlose!” At this point Armin was doing everything he could to stay in the room, he wanted to share more of his glorious jokes!

“What do you think the Survey Corps symbol was modeled after, I personally think it was from Erwin’s eyebrows!” Eren had finally gotten Armin to the door and Armin was hanging onto the edges trying not to be pulled away. “What do you guys think is in Eren’s basement? I think it’s a piece of paper that says Mikasa was my favorite child! Wait no scratch that, I think it’s sex swings!” With that Armin was finally pulled from the door frame and the last thing that was heard was Armin’s insane giggling.

The hall was silent, everyone trying to process what just happened, before Levi turned to Sasha and Connie with a furious look on his face. “What was the purpose of this?” Sasha scratched the back of her head, “We just wanted to see what it looked like when he let loose a bit, we had no idea he was such a light weight, we just wanted to make him tipsy.” Levi just glared at them. “Looks like Armin was right, we really are in trouble with short stack.” Connie whispered to Sasha.

In the morning when Armin made his way into the mess hall with a piercing head ache he kept getting stares. When he sat down he asked Eren what happened and so he told him, Armin just laughed. “I really did go easy on you guys then, I didn’t even get into the Half jokes.” Eren paled. “I don’t want to know.” And with that Armin carried on with his meal, a smile on his face.


End file.
